


Through the Foggy Glass

by wibblyR



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wibblyR/pseuds/wibblyR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's trauma causes him not to perceive the world as he should. Steve is his anchor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Foggy Glass

**Author's Note:**

> For Tania

Everything is a blur, washed out reflections of what Bucky should see. A kind of defense mechanism of his recovering mind, too afraid to see something that might trigger memories he wants to forget.

He knows he will have to remember, one day. He knows there is a reason Natasha’s smudge is violent like television static and white noise. He knows soon he will face her and she will come into focus. But not now.

Steve is the only one Bucky can see, a sharp paper cut-out taped to the window behind which the world hides.

"Maybe you need glasses ?" Sam’s dark fuzzy shape proposed, and Bucky could count every one of Steve’s eyelashes from across the room.

Steve is safe. Bucky’s skin doesn’t go numb at his touch.

At night Bucky traces the lines of him, his golden silhouette outlined against the unseen world. Steve follows Bucky’s fingers, but always ends up gently overturning him to wrap him in his heat, muscles defined even against the metal arm. _Go to sleep_. Bucky curls up in the certainty of him.

He starts telling Steve more about what he experiences. He explains the underwater sounds and the mist enveloping his surroundings. Doesn’t say it might be caused by trauma.

In return, Steve starts helping him. It doesn’t change much of anything, seeing as he was nearly always by Bucky’s side anyway, but his senses are more outwardly attentive and his body more turned towards Bucky. Whispered words to describe a world seen through supersoldier eyes, to clarify what someone says in a too-low voice. A hand brushing Bucky’s elbow to guide him.

Steve is comprehensive but still a brazen punk. Sometimes they have arguments when Bucky doesn’t want to go out, doesn’t want to make efforts for a world he can’t integrate into. They always end in strangled voices and not-so-contained tears, and Steve starts losing his sharpness too, a screen-glitch, so Bucky panics. Steve loses all irritation and comforts him. Often he will slip a hand between Bucky’s thighs and they’ll fall asleep after having made love, quietly, lights out.

 

-

 

“Nothing feels real!” Bucky doesn’t know how he has it in him to even talk. He cannot breathe. “I don’t want to get better for something that is not real!”

Steve rolls Bucky over in their bed and sits on him. He grabs Bucky’s hand, his right hand, and presses it against his heart.

“Does this feel real?” Steve's voice rings so clearly.

Bucky can feel Steve’s heartbeat against his palm. Faster than the supersoldier’s, steadier than the sick child’s, but the same young heart as seventy years ago. Bucky looks up and Steve’s eyes, too, are unchanged: the same determined, stubborn look; the same lovesick blue.

Bucky’s left hand lifts and caresses Steve’s cheek, cups his jaw.

Bucky closes his eyes. “You’re the only real thing I’ve ever touched.” Opens them again to see Steve’s entire face soften, his lips parting open.

For a moment Bucky thinks Steve’s going to cry, but he just leans down and lies on him, his mouth meeting Bucky’s. The kiss is nonetheless wet so Bucky holds him, tightly.

“I’m sorry, for being so difficult-”

Bucky can feel Steve’s “No” on his tongue.

“For being so unwilling to get better-”

Steve groaning again, pushing his nose against Bucky’s and rocking his hips to shut him up.

“For being such a burden to you every day-”

Steve covers Bucky’s mouth with a hand, the other sneaking between their bodies.

“I’m with you-” Bucky sucking in a finger and rolling it between his teeth, “- ‘till the end of the line.”

Moans replace words.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this was all an excuse to fit the Kings line (and Tania additionally wanted the movie line to end the fic).


End file.
